When Invisible Children Sing

     I would really really really really really love it if any of you have free time if you would read the book When Invisible Children Sing by Dr. Chi Huang. It is about street children in La Paz and so much of it is really on par with the things I've seen and experienced being here. It not only perfectly captures the Bolivian culture but also so accurately depicts the lives of the kids living in the orphanages that I am working in and especially the lives of the people living in the plaza. Multiple times while reading it I have been brought to tears because it so perfectly matches the things I have witnessed.
     While working at the orphanages and talking to the teenagers in the plaza I have heard some of the most heart-breaking stories. One of the little girls, Ruth, who lives at CDA 1 is there because her mother is in jail for repeatedly trying to sell her. The worst part is that when her mother finishes her 3 week stint in jail Ruth will be returned to her. One little girl is called Sustantivo meaning survivor because her parents threw her out of a window in attempt to rid themselves of her. The arms of the teenagers in the plaza are unabashedly covered in scars and their skin boasts of untreated burn marks from lighters. The boys at Zapatitos just want to be hugged and touched and loved. Upon arriving there they all climb on you and if you sit down on the ground you are ambushed by a dozen boys who want to sit in your lap or hold your hand. When one little boy got hit in the face with a ball and was crying I kissed his forehead and he instantly stopped crying in surprise. The look he gave me led me to believe that he had never experienced this type of affection before.
        I ache so deeply for these kids who grow up with such little resources yet such big hurt. As I'm sure everyone who has spent time in orphanages has experienced, I am having to learn to feel these things yet to not let them destroy me. To let myself be molded and matured yet not hardened. To continue to trust fully in the Lord while still questioning Him about the existence of this hurt in the world. And most important of all, being an avenue for God's grace so that each and every one of these kids can feel loved even if only for the four hours a day I am there. I have to trust that the Lord is using me and that I am fulfilling his purpose because otherwise it feels all too cruel to be yet another temporary presence in these kids lives and yet another person who will ultimately leave them. It is all this and more that daily runs through my head and daily I am so grateful for my faith in God because with this faith I am free. I am free to offer these hurts to Him, and to know that I could never be enough to heal the aches and pains of these children, only He is. So, with this knowledge and faith I know that my only responsibility is to daily show up and give Him my best and the more I trust in Him, the more effective I can be.